Be Strong Once — Not a Hundred Times: Why I Don’t Buy Sweets Anymore

I walk into the kitchen in the morning to make breakfast. For a brief moment, I think about the chocolate in the second drawer. The thought is gone just as quickly. „That’s not how I want to start my day!“ I’m in the mood for something fresh — avocado toast, a breakfast that leaves me feeling good.

Later that morning, the chocolate crosses my mind again. Just briefly, as I’m standing in the kitchen grabbing a glass of water. Maybe because I’m a little hungry, and the drawer is right there, smiling at me. But again, I push the thought aside and look forward to a proper lunch instead.

And then it keeps going.

After lunch: A piece of chocolate for dessert? Nah. After an energy slump: Maybe something sweet for a little boost? Hmm. After finishing work: One bite as a reward? Maybe later. Next time I walk through the kitchen: Just quickly open the drawer? Stay strong.

And then evening comes. I’ve eaten, the day has been long, I’m tired — not quite as clear-headed, not quite as disciplined as I was at 8am. And suddenly it gets me. Not because I’m weak. But because I’ve had to make this decision too many times today. Every single trip to the kitchen put it to the test again. I’ve already spent so much energy saying no that eventually, there’s nothing left.

Whether it happens in one day or stretches across several: it usually ends the same way. I eat too much of something that doesn’t serve me — after spending countless moments trying to prevent exactly that. And afterwards, I feel weak, undisciplined, and usually bloated too.

That’s the real point. The chocolate was there the whole time. And every time I walked past it, I had to decide all over again. Remind myself of my intentions. Say no. Find the discipline.

My approach: tackle the problem at the root

A while ago, I made a decision that feels almost embarrassingly simple in hindsight: I stopped buying sweets or snacks at the supermarket that I wouldn’t actually want to eat with a clear head. Nothing goes in the cart that I already know will leave me feeling off afterwards.

That’s it. No complicated system, no app, no elaborate nutrition strategy.

The idea is simple: if I say no once at the supermarket, I don’t have to say no a hundred times at home. I don’t have to keep walking past the same temptation. I don’t have to spend energy on an internal dialogue I’ll eventually lose anyway.

I’ve accepted that I’m not one of those people who can keep a bar of chocolate in the cupboard and simply forget about it. If there’s something sweet in the house, I think about it. Not constantly — but often enough. And at some point, I usually eat it.

That’s not a character flaw. I don’t judge myself for it. It’s simply something I know about myself — and that’s exactly where I start. I make it easier on myself, instead of constantly fighting my own nature.

Why this makes psychological sense

There are a few concepts in psychology and behavioral research that explain why this happens so often in everyday life.

One of them is decision fatigue — the idea that making good decisions can get harder throughout the day as we repeatedly regulate impulses, set priorities, and weigh things up. You’ve probably noticed it yourself: it’s easier to stick to your intentions in the morning than it is at 10pm on the couch.

Our environment also influences our behavior more than we tend to think. Research on choice architecture shows that visibility, availability, placement, and accessibility all make a difference. What’s within reach, constantly in our line of sight, and effortlessly available gets chosen more often. What requires friction — or simply isn’t there — loses most of its pull.

Which is why the easiest path often isn’t forcing yourself to „be strong“ over and over again. Sometimes it’s smarter to design your environment so that it supports the decision you actually want to make. Not constantly working against yourself — but making it a little easier.

This goes way beyond chocolate

For me, this has become something like a golden rule that I apply in all kinds of areas. It works especially well for sweets — but the principle translates to a lot of other things.

Screen time and social media – Here too, you can leave the proverbial chocolate at the store. You don’t have to carry your phone everywhere. You can deliberately leave it in another room, turn it off between tasks, set app limits, delete certain apps, or switch your screen to grayscale so it’s less appealing. The goal is always the same: raise the barrier a little, so you don’t mindlessly fall back into old patterns.

Online shopping – There are a lot of small levers here too. Saved payment details, filled carts, and one-click ordering are all designed to bring impulse and purchase as close together as possible. The simplest counter-strategy is often surprisingly obvious: don’t save your payment details, clear your cart, let a purchase sit for a day. Suddenly you realize how much of it you didn’t actually want.

Alcohol, cigarettes, or other habits – The principle stays the same: if there’s something you don’t want to do, it often helps to remove the triggers and make access harder. It’s not a cure for addiction, and it doesn’t replace deeper support. But it can be an important foundation — because it takes decisions off your plate and protects the more exhausted version of you.

The more effort there is between you and a behavior, the less likely it becomes**.** Not because you’ve completely changed — but because you’re no longer putting yourself through the same hard decision over and over again.

What I want to leave you with

I’m not here to tell anyone what to do or not do. Everyone makes their own decisions — about food, habits, enjoyment, limits, and priorities. That’s how it should be.

What I do believe: you can make decisions in a way that actually works for you. You can design your environment so it works with you instead of against you. And you can accept how you’re wired, instead of constantly judging yourself for it.

If you recognize yourself in this — if it’s hard to hold a decision once you’re repeatedly exposed to a trigger — then this might be something worth trying.

Not as proof of discipline. Just as a practical way to make it a little easier on yourself.

Now it’s your turn

Where in your life are you fighting the same battle more than once? Where do you keep losing to the same temptation?

I’d love to hear from you — and I’m curious whether this approach works for you too.